


What is life?

by NanjoKouji



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, M/M, fuck robert again, oh fuck you robert, please aaron dont, whump! aaron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 19:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3862174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanjoKouji/pseuds/NanjoKouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron's running and everything's catching up with him and it's not fair and he doesn't deserve it but he thinks otherwise.</p><p>This is the mirror fic to Life is a game I'm losing at but it can be read alone</p>
            </blockquote>





	What is life?

**Author's Note:**

> I love them so much but Robert. he's just so...frustrating. Aaron, please hold on. I'm feeling extremely depressed right now so that's why the writing is bearable enough to read. I think I write better when I'm like this...

He ran and ran and ran. Every time his feet hit the ground, it intensified. The pain shot through his body and shook his entire being but it was never enough and so he carried on unwilling to stop. It not like anyone cared anyway. 

It was getting harder to put each foot in front of the other but he managed it not stopping once to catch his breath because if he did that, he’d be tempted to stop and then there would be nothing to do. He could always go to the scrap yard but he couldn’t be bothered to act ‘fine’ in front of Adam and there probably wasn’t a ton of work to do there anyway. 

His feet were rubbed raw and the blood was seeping through again, he could feel it soaking through and it felt disgusting. But feeling disgusting was nothing more than he deserved. 

Everything was getting too much, Katie, Chas, having to hide, Rob. Robert who had made him fall in love and then left Aaron to lick his own wounds. He knew Chas was right. He deserved better than Robert, better than just being a bit on the side for him to play with whenever. 

Every time they were together, every time they touched or even looked, he couldn’t UN see Chrissie. She deserved better than what Robert was doing behind her back and Aaron was helping him to do it. It wasn’t like he was friends with that woman because he wasn’t. He’d even so far as to say she was a bitch but bitch or not, it wasn’t fair on her.

They were similar in a way, him and Chrissie. They were both being used and thrown about but the difference was, every time it happened to Aaron, he’d feel the burn but Chrissie? She was clueless and was left scot free of the pain so in fact, they weren’t that similar at all. 

He knew that it wouldn’t last forever, this routine of sharing glances, random rendezvous and torture and it would blow over. It always did. And when it did, he wasn’t sure that he would be there by Robert’s side to comfort him.

He slowed down and leant down breathing at a laboured pace. Just for a bit. The pain was pulsing now and he breathed louder so as not to just scream and drop in agony. He wanted to be sick, it was so overwhelming and he found that he couldn’t take it anymore. It was enough for today. 

The running helped to clear his mind. The stinging overtook his mind and instead he would concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. The wind would whip on face harshly and the music would blare, effectively leaving him blank. If only for a few hours.  
He stopped outside the pub and taking a deep breath, walked into it letting the warmth coat his freezing body. Chas saw him enter and offered him a brittle smile. He watched her fill a pint up and hand it over going into the back to collapse on the sofa. 

He shouldn’t have come home so early. Chas was going to badger him on the excessive running and question him until he’d be forced to say something horrible to make her back off. He knew that it was only her trying to take care of him and deep down, he was grateful for it but he just couldn’t be bothered to explain anything to her.

Running upstairs to the bathroom, he stripped, turned the shower on and let the water coat his body in warmth. He cranked the heat up and let the burning take over. The hotness touched his feet and he hissed at the pain not bothering to turn the heat down at all. It scalded and it hurt and he deserved it.


End file.
